American Apparel has clearly outdone it self again. What can I say, I love a good innuendo.

Presenting the Hitachi Magic Wand Massager! For sale amongst a sea of Euro-heavy deep v-necks (because we need to see intense chest hair and nipple piercings), American Apparel has capitalized on it’s intensely sexual campaigning, which it  just can’t escape. What I have a problem with here, is most of the kids I see wearing this shit are dirty little scenesters that are like, in high school. They have their parents come along and buy them all these v-necks and zip-ups, what happens when the Hitachi is pulled from under the counter?

I like watching this, by the way. The kids who are wearing beat up Vans slip-ons (the obligatory scenester-appreciated shoe) alongside skinny jeans, greasy hair, and some dirty band t-shirt paired with a plastic bow in the hair (if youre a girl) or a fedora (if youre a boy); then you see their parents, wealthy doctors from the heart of the white collar neighborhood.

…I think the jig is up, Scoob.. we’ve found ourselves some little pre-teen posers. Sorry, just beacause you listen to Morrissey when you’re sent to your room WITHOUT xbox, you’re not really that oppressed. But that’s besides the point. Along side the erratic price changes (scenester inflation, I’d say…) there will be the world’s most promiscuous “hand” massager. Like, really though.. if this massager was a person and/or diva it would be Xtina Aguilera herself (yeah, she’s edgier now… give it an X not a chris- look what it did for Xhibit). Should clothing stores that have no minimum age requirement be able to sell such …machinery? or is it a matter of, Dov Charney putting it all out there any way so there’s no limit to the ‘wow’ factor? Eh, I don’t really care… I’d say it’s just another shade of Grey.