So, um, I’m not really one to complain. I’ve spent years perfecting my vocal range - and my pitch is about as sharp as the edges of Maria Shriver’s face. I’m just saying….I’ve had a gorgeous singing career and have brought many a goose pimple to the arms of people across the land with my unique brand of soul and melody. So when Beyonce shunned me during her little laundry list of elite songstresses during her Grammy performance introduction of Tina Turner, did I go all Aretha on their asses and have my publicist send out a bitch-slap statement? No, I didn’t. I like to think its because I’m growing as a person.

Aretha, on the other hand, is apparently not growing as a person. At least not emotionally (was that harsh? Bad Grey!).

I’m just saying.

Her statement: “I am not sure of whose toes I may have stepped on or whose ego I may have bruised between the Grammy writers and Beyoncé. However, I dismissed it as a cheap shot for controversy.”

Just so we are all on the same page on why Aretha was pissed - here is the crux of the controversy: Somewhere along the line someone deemed her “The Queen of Soul”. Ok. Cool. So when Beyonce introduced measly ol’ Tina Turner as “The Queen”, you can imagine how this may have caused some confusion. If you’re used to being referred to as a “Queen”, the natural tendency is to assume you’re the only one. I get it. People have been calling me a Queen since I was eight, so trust me, I get it.

I feel you Ree Ree. But from one Queen to another, let me give you a piece of well-intentioned royal advice: Let us lead by example. If our actions indicate the slightest bit of insecurity - the kingdom may just revolt against us. So lets take it down a notch and get back in touch with reality, nes paux? You don’t have a crown. You don’t sit upon a thrown beckoning minions to fan you with peacock feathers while a court jester swallows live rats for your entertainment pleasure. You are but a talented singer who has enjoyed a glorious career in entertainment and have earned the right to be a total Diva - not a total idiot. You’re not trying to overthrow the Spanish regime or sign a treaty with Greece - there is plenty of room for more than one Queen in our collective musical history book. So calm the f*ck down.

I’ll be honest though…I’m REALLY glad this all happened…because now when I say “Don’t make me go all Aretha on your ass”, you’ll know what I mean. Thank’s Ree Ree!