Brangelina felt pretty spry the other day and decided they should buy a house. Near Provence in the South of France, they bought a nice little fixer-upper shack with 35 bedrooms on 1000 acres. No biggie right? Lets see what else they have that will make us want to kill ourselves?

• Swimming pool
• Billiards room
• Sauna, Jacuzzi
• His and Her GymsNot jealous yet??
• A surrounding moat
• Vineyard
• Surrounding forest
• Lake Brangelina

Grand total? About 60 million dollars. So at 35 bedrooms, they could adopt at least 20 more kids right? I mean its logical to leave a couple guest bedrooms and stuff but there are way grosser countries out there that Angelina needs to steal a kid from. I think the next kid is going to be a super-ethnic looking kid.

Back to the house, Brangelina has been looking forward to buying a house in this area; neighbs include Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis & of course, ultra philanthropic-man Bono from U2. I always figured that Bono lived in an area where the Sun was always shining, like he paid G-d to shed rays of light in his house at all times. I mean what else would explain the fact that Bono finds it perfectly ok to wear sunglasses ALL THE DAMN TIME.

Im off to the South of France to borrow a cup of sugar. Or a cup of $100 bills, which ever they have more of.