Quote of the DAY!
“For people to say Employee of The Month was a flop is ludicrous. It made the money back - that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop - it opened at $30 million. If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?”
-Jessica Simpson.

…are you kidding me. Any movie starring Dax Shepard and that weird mexican dood from Napoleon Dynamite is surely a flop. Or any movie starring Johnny Knoxville is guaranteed a flop. Yikes, denial, table for 1. She’ll have the chicken of the sea (obligatory Jessica Simpson call-out).

Sorry Jess Jess, making money back means opportunity loss on that money. It could have made more money sitting in a low interest bank account. But you are just too much of an idiot to be able to understand that. Then you have to look at the loss of your brand image. Anyone who saw that movie would say they will never go to another one of your movies. That is a major loss. Even bigger is the fact that you are continually associating yourself with a lower and lower demographic, cheapening your value as a celebrity. You may be the next has-been. Yes, that’s it…we here at the Grey know where you are heading fast…Has-been land with Screech.

So anyway, I would personally like to write Ms. Simpson a letter and see if I can have an hour and a half of my life back from sitting through Employee of the Month. I mean, I’ve seen my share of shitty movies and pathetic romantic comedies, but the only thing getting me through that piece of shit was Dane Cook. (Who I am certain will never do a movie with you again…you’d ruin his image even further.)

Though that wasn’t a success for him either, I kind of figured out a math ratio that for every 30 lines, Dane Cook had 1 good one-liner. With a standard deviation of 5. So for every 30 lines he delivered, maybe 1 was funny, give or take 5 or so. Not a good equation for success.

Something about a hottie hot hot girl working at a Costco along side a funny dude screams to me, unrealistic. SO, I guess what we’ve deduced was that Jessica Simpson aims to make joke movies hoping people will go to see her legs. At this rate you may be rejected by even the porn industry. Well, maybe not…you could do good with some sex tapes. Flippity, flop. I’m afraid I can’t say much more, I think that Papa Joe will probably send a contract killer after me- the man scares the hell out of me. (By the way, when will your sister stop stealing your thunder? Wait, she already has…Ashlee is going to be overshadowing you fast and you’ll end up binge eating and joining Celebrity Fit Club if you don’t find a good manager.)

Denial puts you in the Grey, ’cause it ain’t just a river in Egypt baby. It’s your life.