Well its about time.

FINALLY we get to see a super model eating something other than the filter end of a Marlboro Red.  I think I speak for all the chubby girls out there when I say, “BRAVA Tyra Banks!”  Brava indeed.  Not only have you spat in the face of the fashion industry’s obsession with skinny bitches, but you’re quite possibly the first person on earth ever to have located a Twinkie near a runway during Fashion Week in the first place. I’ve been to a Fashion Week or two, and lemme just tell you…For those of us who tip the scales beyond 87 pounds and binge on a daily caloric intake in the double digits, I can safely say that Fashion Week starts to feel a lot more like Fashion Month because there isn’t a bloody thing to eat anywhere.  ANYWHERE.  Its a rule, I think.  You know how a shark can smell blood from 100 feet away?  Supermodels who haven’t eaten since they got their first (and, sadly, their last) period can smell complex carbohydrates much the same way - so its really not a good idea to have anything with a creamy filling around because it can get ugly.  Messy ugly.  So somewhere along the line, someone (probably Karl Lagerfeld, that bony little bitch) screamed “DAHLINGS! NO FOCKING FOOD DAHLINGS!” at Fashion Week festivities.  So it was written.  How Tyra was able to smuggle in this tasty calorie-laden devil, I will never know.  But I am impressed.

There is actually a photo of me that looks very similar to this.  But it wasn’t taken during Fashion Week, and I’m pretty sure I was stoned at the time and had just made my way through a box of Nutter Butters.  But in the picture I had the same expression on my face, and people say I look a lot like Tyra Banks when I’m stoned.  The resemblance is uncanny. But unlike my good friend Tyra, I would never be caught dead (or stoned) wearing synthetic hair that looks like it was stolen from a horse head mannequin at the local Boot Barn.  I won’t hold this misstep against her though.  I’m sure this Mr. Ed homage is just a phase.

Horse hair faux paux aside, you’re on the list for showing us that pretty girls eat too!